“Now if your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have gained your brother” – Matthew 18:15
“Truth carries with it confrontation. Truth demands confrontation; loving confrontation, but confrontation nevertheless.”
― Francis A. Schaeffer, The Great Evangelical Disaster
Luke 10:29 – “But wishing to justify himself, he said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbour?”
A Jewish lawyer to test Jesus had asked him how he could inherit eternal life. Jesus asked him what the law said about it. The man responded by saying, “YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND; AND YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.” And Jesus said to him, “You have answered correctly; DO THIS, AND YOU WILL LIVE.” “But wishing to justify himself, he said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbour?” Instead of acknowledging his incapability to live according to the law, the lawyer has sought to justify himself. He wanted to show that he was already living right.
The Problem
It is not just a Jewish problem. I think there is a narcissist in every one of us. We must confess that it’s everyone’s problem. The problem lies at man’s heart is an unwillingness to acknowledge one’s mistakes and to seek grace because man by nature is self-oriented. Our self is important to all of us, and we instinctively try to defend ourselves, especially when we have to take responsibility for our actions and words that hurt others.
The problem of justifying one’s wrong actions began long ago in the Garden of Eden. Adam, instead of acknowledging his mistake, blamed Eve and God when confronted by God. He justified himself. Even Eve followed the trail of Adam by blaming the Serpent. Both Adam and Eve did not take responsibility for their sins. They were embarrassed to acknowledge that they were wrong.
As the descendants of Adam and Eve, we too have expertise in justifying our wrongs when confronted. We see ourselves in that situation every day, maybe at home or work, and with friends and strangers. When confronted, we want to cover up our sins by guarding ourselves against the embarrassment of our faults and would like to paint a righteous image of ourselves. We all have an advocate within who is ever-present to defend us.
One day in my conversation with a friend, I had spoken disgracefully of another friend. Upon hearing, my friend immediately confronted me that I was gossiping and unmerciful to my brother. I was upset by my friend’s confrontation, and soon the advocate in me justified my gossip. I tried to cover up my ghastly comments. After some time, I could see guilt resurfacing my heart and had to confess my offensive words.
In another incident, when I confronted a preacher for wrongly interpreting a passage, the preacher took offence and began bragging about his greatness as a preacher instead of examining my comments. I could only see how self-centred he was.
We all have similar issues with our self-importance and witness the same in others. It is essential to know that this is a problem that needs constant help.
The Beginning of change
Is this change even possible in an independent and self-obsessed culture?
Every one of us is prone to fail in one or other ways daily. We fall in our thoughts, actions, behaviours, and in our relationships. Not many of us are willing to acknowledge one’s folly in contributing to the point of failure. We are more prone to blame others and are cynical towards others. We try to wrap ourselves in a fairy fantasy world of self-righteousness and perfectionism. Therefore, we fail to acknowledge the fundamental problem of our nature and give in to the blame game.
Justifying one’s faults gets dirty; the more we defend ourselves, the nastier we appear. In this process, one fails to acknowledge the fundamental problem with self, and we atone ourselves with words of self-righteousness by becoming our advocates. When we advocate ourselves, we manifest our sinfulness. The problem with us is that we have a high view of self and therefore demand respect from others.
We all need to understand that we have nothing good in us, and God, in His mercy, called us by his gospel to become good, i.e., to become like his Son through his grace. The God-Man, our eternal High Priest, is our only advocate who makes us right.
The only way to be grounded in reality is by exposing ourselves to the grace of the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ every day. The gospel points us to the Cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. The gospel shows that we are sinful, and there is nothing in us that could cover up for our sins and gives us a right standing before God. The sacrifice of our Perfect High Priest alone can atone for our sins. As our eternal high priest, he stands as the mediator between God and man. We are in right standing before God because of His imputed righteousness. Christ alone by the indwelling Spirit supplies the sanctifying grace to be conformed into His image.
We need this gospel grace every day and need to acknowledge our sinfulness and the need for Christ’s redeeming grace. The Cross shows our incapacity of pleasing God and points us to the throne of grace where we can find mercy for our daily lives.
If we live every day realising that we are people with weaknesses and need grace and help, we wouldn’t be embarrassed by others’ confrontations. There is grace available for us in Christ Jesus, which liberates us from our self-importance and all the unpleasant things that flow from it.
God’s Design for our change
God’s dynamics for our change is in the institution of the church. God placed us in a church for our sanctification. We must get this straight; a failure to confess our sins upon confrontation by others is a failure to benefit from the one-another ministry in the body of Christ. Consider these Bible verses:
- Love one another (John 13:34).
- Be devoted to one another in brotherly love (Romans 12:10).
- Instruct one another (Romans 15:14).
- Serve one another in love (Galatians 5:13).
- Carry each other’s burdens (Galatians 6:2).
- Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21).
- In humility, consider others better than yourselves (Philippians 2:3).
- Admonish one another (Colossians 3:16).
- Encourage one another and build one another up (1 Thessalonians 5:11).
- Spur one another (Hebrews 10:24).
- Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another (1 Peter 5:5).
- Confess your sins to each other (James 5:16).
- Pray for one another (James 5:16).
These are few among such commandments. There is much emphasis on healthy relationships in the church to build one another up. We must learn the crucial role that the church plays in our sanctification. The aim of speaking to others of their sins is not to undermine them but to restore them (Galatians 6:1). Nevertheless, confronting one another with love and gentleness (Galatians 6:1) when one is in the wrong builds up an individual, and the body of Christ and such is the mark that we love others (Proverbs 27:5; 28:23).
Ministry of others in the church is the means of God’s grace to us. If we are not submissive to the ministry of others, we are shutting ourselves to the transforming grace of our Lord. God helps us grow into the image of our Lord Jesus not just in isolation but also in the community of God’s redeemed people. If the church is God’s plan, then one another ministerial relationships are part of it. To receive correction from others and a willingness to confess our faults are part of these relationships in the body of Christ. Staying away from such relationships in the body of Christ stunts our growth. Part of our maturing happens in the meaningful, purposeful fellowships of God’s people.
Therefore, immaturity persists in isolation, and maturity thrives in fellowship. Every believer must be glad upon confrontation of one’s faults by others and must count it as a blessing. Confrontation of our faults must always lead us to introspection and repentance. Such one-another ministerial relationships will build an individual and the body of Christ.
May God bless you with His grace
Picture: Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash
SIMPLE THEOLOGY 